Getting back in touch

On LinkedIn, members can indicate what sorts of contacts in which they are interested. One such is termed "Getting back in touch." What does that really mean? For me, there are a couple of categories:

1) People who might be useful to me later in looking for a job

2) People who I might want to get together with for dinner or a drink at a professional meeting

3) Other

The Other category is the one that is giving me pause. I have realized that I am mortal. I understand that most people probably figure this out when they are about 10, and of course I "knew" that I wasn't going to live forever, but up until quite recently, I have thought that I would have time to do things. But there have been quite a few losses in my life recently. And I realize now that I may not have any time at all so I had better stop waiting to do things until "later." At least the important things. I know my closet needs cleaning out, but that can wait.

I have also known for a while that I am unhappy. That I am not having very much fun. I have been moaning about that for a couple of years and it hasn't changed. So trying to get to happy or at least happier, has landed on my list of important things to do because I could die on the Pennsylvania Turnpike driving home. It happens every day.

So I started to think about what was different, about me, about my life, during the times when I recall having been happy (hey, maybe that therapy did some good). And I have come to the conclusion that in my case, it involved being around more people. Understand me - the people themselves didn't make me happy, but some aspect about having them in my life, seeing them, talking to them, doing things with them, made me happy. So the obvious thing to do is to try and "get back in touch" with some of these people. Which is pretty easy to do today with FaceBook and LinkedIn and the web in general.

But after that initial re-connection or friending, how to move it to the next level? How to go from not having spoken to someone for years and years and wanting to move towards some sort of relationship that involves more than just an electronic connection? Reaching out to the unknown is scary. You can grab a handful of air or loose a finger. Do you tell people - hey - when I say get back in touch, I mean more than having you on the list of contacts that get spammed when I get a virus? And I know that the safe and sensible thing is to try and take it slowly - since there is no way to know whether the other person is even remotely interested in re-establishing a connection, or just being polite in accepting your invitation, or worried that you might be electronically stalking them. But then there is that mortality thing and I don't really want to take things slowly. It is almost as if I want to ask someone if they are "in" or "out."

But the problem with asking questions is that you need to be prepared for the answers.